-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- There 's a great dive bar in my neighborhood called Jack 's where they oven-bake the chicken wings . And they 're absolutely amazing . I 'm not saying I 've had semi-inappropriate fantasies about them . But I 'm also not denying it .

Yes . Things continue to be weird at home .

But it 's worth noting that , despite my undying love for these wings , I 'm actually a complete coward when it comes to sauce .

I always get teriyaki . Spicy foods have never really been my thing . Unlike some of my friends who , in a pinch , would happily use Texas Pete for contact lens solution .

So , I could only sit in horror as I read a trending story from England this week about the first person to finish the `` world 's hottest curry . '' And , sadly , we can only assume this brave hero also sat in horror several hours later when he realized that the world 's hottest curry wanted out .

`` Strong men ... also cry . ''

Nevertheless , Dr. Ian Rothwell proudly became the first of more than 300 people to conquer Bindi restaurant 's famous dish , `` The Widower . '' A name that , apparently , had a slightly more menacing ring to it than `` The Care Bear . ''

Bindi restaurant , in the English East Midlands town of Grantham , has been serving the Widower since 2010 . The recipe , which is openly shared online , has become a popular Web search as curry enthusiasts around the world clamor for new and interesting ways to make one of the most delicious and wonderful foods on the planet completely inedible .

Specifically , the main driving force behind the Widower 's heat is 20 Infinity chilis , which were developed by a Grantham man named Nick Woods who grew the record-breaking strain completely by accident .

Bindi restaurant 's managing director and executive chef , Muhammed Karim , took those accidental chilis , combined them with other peppers and extracts , and created what he believes is the world 's hottest curry . I 'll never know because I still value the functioning ability of my esophagus . It 's where pudding goes .

Amazingly , just cooking the storied dish requires gloves , goggles and a gas mask . Which , generally speaking , is a sure sign that whatever you 're doing in the kitchen is less safe than , say , heating up a Lean Pocket .

Cooking meth is less safe than heating up a Lean Pocket . I rest my case .

And so , hundreds of people have tried to finish off the Widower . But up until just the other day , nobody had ever made it to the end . And only a few have lasted past four or five mouthfuls , most opting instead to vomit , cry and rethink their overall purpose in life .

`` I should buy a boat . ''

Though Rothwell amazingly finished the entire dish in just over an hour , it was n't easy . In fact , it was probably downright reckless .

Armed only with a bottle of beer , he bravely made it halfway through the meal before excusing himself for a short walk . Not so much because it was a particularly nice day but because he actually began hallucinating . About 10 minutes later , his wife found him wandering up Grantham High Street , presumably having a rather nefarious conversation with own hand .

`` Agreed . We shall light stuff on fire . ''

Eventually , with tears running from his eyes , Rothwell downed the very last bite of the world 's hottest curry . Or so the restaurant still claims . It 's all rather unofficial .

However , what is official is the actual hottest chili pepper . According to Guinness World Records , that honor was most recently set in March 2011 by the Trinidad Scorpion `` Butch T '' pepper from Australia .

I Googled this thing , and it looks pretty damn mean . If ever there was a fruit capable of having sex with your sister and kicking your dog , it 's the Trinidad Scorpion .

The previously mentioned Infinity chili -- used in the Widower -- earned the highly coveted record a year earlier in March 2010 but was ousted only a few months later by the Naga Viper chili , also grown in the UK . They remain third and second , respectively .

So , that 's the story of the man who conquered the world 's hottest curry . Surely , everybody knows someone right now who would gladly accept the challenge . And they would all likely fail . For it takes a true warrior to step up and face the Widower .

Or you can just be sensible and have something else .

Strong men ... also eat teriyaki .

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`` Apparently This Matters '' is CNN Tech 's weekly , offbeat look at what 's trending online

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This week , Jarrett considers a story about the world 's hottest curry

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`` The Widower '' is considered the hottest plate of curry anywhere

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A man finished it for the first time -- and hallucinated